They didn’t always know where money would be coming from. My parents were missionaries for the church and they lived a fluid lifestyle. I am Chinese and was adopted by white parents. See also: Jake Choi, Single Parents, and the importance of representation Image provided by Yik Penner We should have the freedom to iterate what parenting is, experiment and to have the wisdom to know that you’re on the right track even if it’s not perfectly aligned with what you are reading. Sometimes messing up is part of parenting. We read up on what’s right parenting, but it’s about knowing that you love your kids and you want what’s best for them. As a millennial, we have access to all this information. Parents just need to extend themselves a little more grace when it comes to taking care of kids. To mitigate that, I tried to get everything I wanted to do out of the way so when my kid was born, I wouldn’t feel like I had to give up everything all of a sudden. In talking to some dads, they felt this loss of identity because they had to give up what they loved to take care of their kids. First you feel anxious, but all of a sudden, a sense of excitement comes ahead. When he came out, I felt an overwhelming relief that he was healthy. Whenever he heard my voice, he would move. Even in the womb, he was in tune with people around him. My first experience was when I could first feel him moving or kicking. Sometimes messing up is part of parenting.” “As a millennial, we try to read up on what’s right parenting, but it’s about knowing that you love your kids and you want what’s best for them. See also: How I forgave my Asian parents YIK PENNERĭad to Noah, 4 and Emilia, 2 Image provided by Yik Penner I hope by letting my daughter I love her, it’ll change the way she sees the world, treats others and values relationships. Feelings are rarely talked about or communicated in a direct or uplifting way. Growing up in an Asian family, this wasn’t something I heard very often. I hope to keep showing her affection and not to be afraid to be the same loving father at home and in public. I want my daughter to know that she is loved so much and valued-not because of what she has done, but simply because she is my daughter. What is something you’d like to tell your child? I don’t know how long this tradition may last, but I hope that heart of it will always remain – that daddy will always set aside time to spend with her and be present with her. I can already picture the laughs we’ll have and the chocolate ice cream all over her face. I plan to set aside some time each week for a father-daughter “date” and enjoy something special like ice cream, tell silly jokes, and enjoy each other’s company. What is a family tradition you’d like to pass on or start? I hope I can do the same for my children. My dad taught me so much about sports and is the reason why I love sports. They encouraged us to keep learning and participate in extracurricular activities. I had a great childhood and my parents always gave us their best. What did you learn from your parents that you are carrying into the way you parent? It reveals a lot about yourself and your own shortcomings. Discovering the role through spending time with your baby is humbling, but it also brings so much joy. I think one of the exciting and beautiful things about being a new father is discovering it all for yourself. What is something you wish you knew before becoming a parent? I just want to go back and enjoy the early stages for a bit longer. Everyone tells you to cherish every moment, but you don’t really know what that means until you look back. What has been the toughest part of becoming a new father?Īccepting that time moves so quickly. My fatherly instinct told me that I wanted nothing more than to love and protect my baby. It was weird to know that in a moment, I was now a father. The period of waiting is finally over and the fruit of it all is here. It’s a bit overwhelming to think that you had a part to play in bringing this precious life into this world. What was it like to hold/meet your child for the first time? “One of the exciting, and beautiful, things about being a new father is discovering it all for yourself.“
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